I can't do this anymore
by leigh.m5576
Summary: After a hot alleyway make out, what if Clary had decided it was too much? Clary does the thing everyone least expected her to do. Set after the sexy alley scene in COFA if Clary had broken up with Jace before he could run off...
1. Prolouge

**Hey guys, this is the prologue for the story. Don't get too depressed please, I love Jace and Clary just ask much as all of you, so there will be some love and all that. **

**-Reviews welcome- and not just 'I loved it' but also things to make the story better and opinions on where the plot should go- **

**Enjoy xx**

"Jace" She took a step forward. "Don't" he said, his voice very rough "I can't"  
"JACE LIGHTWOOD" Clary screeched. She was fuming. She stared as Jace froze, obviously surprised at her outburst. "Come here right now, or I swear on the angel, you will regret it" She said turning the volume down only slightly. Jace leaned as he turned and just looked at her wide eyed. She looked menacingly until he hesitantly walked forward. Clary had obviously caught him off guard, and inside she knew it was not her talking, but the grief and neglect she had been facing ever since Jace had begun to turn away. "Why?" he voice was quavering, like the overload of emotions were scaring it off. A chill ran over her body and although they were standing, soaking wet in the rain, it wasn't that. Jace looked at the floor in defeat. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" Jace's hand twitched by his side, like he wanted to reach for her, and she was glad when he thought better of it. Clary couldn't handle the Jace she loved so much right now. It was her time to stand up to the one that was ripping her apart. When he didn't answer, Clary felt defeated. "You know Jace, when we started dating, I felt like I was dreaming" The rain trickled in streams over her body. "Because you were this perfect person. The best shadowhunter, the hottest guy I've ever seen. And I was this short freckled girl who had never experienced things before. I was… It was so unreal." She tilted her head back, the memory suffocating her heart. "And then you started to push me away. And I realised that all along this whole relationship had been about you" He gasped a little but Clary kept going. "You were the one was needed all the pity. You grieved about your fake father and I had to deal with that. You, Jace, were the one who was pushing me away, not talking. You didn't care about me at all! Didn't stop to think how this would affect me" She clenched her hands into fists. "Relationships are a two way thing! I'm still here Jace. Still tagging along." Clary stared at where the drops of water were dripping off her pale hands. "Well maybe I'm sick of this. It's no wonder everyone thinks your breaking up with me. Because in a way you are" Jace was staring at Clary, his eyes hollowed. There was no going back. "You tore me up, now it's my turn" Clary lowered her voice so he could barely hear her over the droplets splashing on the pavement. "I can't do this anymore" and Clary bowed her head, turned away and ran off into the night.

**Intense… Sorry it was short-Next chap up later and will be longer xx**


	2. Break ups Suck

**Chapter two- Break ups suck xx**

The walls of Luke's house seemed to close in on Clary as she lay on the bed, facing the celling of her room. After running from the alley way, Clary had walked back to Luke's house in the rain, letting the droplets splash on her face and trail down her body. It didn't seem worth it to try and stay dry. Clary tried so hard to think of something, anything that wasn't Jace. His face was branded into her mind, like she had carved it into her soul. There was nothing she could do but lay on the bed and wait for the weight to lift. Clary had no idea how long it had been. "Clary?" her mom's voice echoed through the halls. Clary stayed silent, praying Jocelyn would understand that she wanted time alone. Really, all Clary wanted to do was edge silently away until she was invisible, and no one could ever pester her again. The only person she wanted to be able to see her was just the guy she had yelled at and possibly broke forever. The banging on Clary's door reminded her that people could still see her. "Clary open the door" Jocelyn's annoyed voice was muffled by the wood. Clary groggily sat up and cracked her back, before stumbling and reaching for the doorknob. Jocelyn's bright hair was pulled back in a messy bun, her green eyes focused sharply on Clary. "What in God's name are you doing?" she said as pointedly as her eyes hinted. Clary sighed. "I'm sleeping"  
"At 11 am? I don't think so"  
"I was out late" Clary looked defeated. "Sorry". Jocelyn took a deep breath.  
"Don't try to act like nothing is going on. I know you too well, you are my daughter." She said, her tone softened. Clary felt tears well in her eyes. She so badly wanted to spill every single pain and doubt running through her mind. Maybe it would be easier if she shared the load. "I broke up with Jace" Jocelyn was stunned. She looked like Clary had just come out of the closet. "Oh Clary…" and she pulled her into a hug.

Distraction was what Jace was looking for when he trudged through the sewers under Manhattan. He almost found it when three large rodent looking demons crept up behind him. Almost. Visions of red hair and green eyes haunted his thoughts. It was like some sort of grizzly ironic joke. Never before had recklessly risking his life failed to distract him. Even while knifing two demons through their black hearts at once, Jace couldn't forget Clary. And he doubted anything could make him. Now as he was walking down a dark street he could hear her whispering down his neck. _I can't do this anymore. _Jace almost laughed. Trying to keep her safe had blown up in his face. She had broken up with him. He always though some supermodel would be the one to break his heart. Guess he was wrong.

The institute was gloomy and damp when Jace returned. Slipping silently through the doors, he merged with the shadows, enabling him to slip past his siblings. The weight of the dark felt like it was crushing him. Like every miserable emotion he could ever feel were all infecting his body at once. The problem was Jace couldn't imagine life without Clary. He couldn't see himself enjoying anything, making conversation with anyone or even eating without the promise of seeing Clary afterwards. It was like all meaning to do anything had been sucked out of the world. Jace had nothing to do but stare at the blank wall of his room, thinking of nothing but his other half that he had ripped out of his life. Sleeping wasn't an option. Because he knew that when he succumbed to sleep, he would have to see her face twisted in the pain that he had inflicted. Jace had nothing to do but stare.

Eventually Clary gave up sulking and deigned to come out of her cave. Clary felt like a walking zombie. Although she was up and her mom sent her to go food shopping, Clary felt like nothing she could do would have effect on anything. I was like all the meaning had been thrust out of her life. Nothing she could achieve or enjoy could be done without Jace. She wanted to go to the institute and figure out what was wrong with him, but that was impossible. She wanted to train, but that would involve the institute, where it just so happened, Jace lived. Everything in the Shadowhunter world was in some way related to her ex. After wandering around in the supermarket, Clary decided the only person she wanted to ever see again was her best friend. She rushed home and almost tripped whilst searching her room for her phone.

Isabelle was starving by the time she had finished training. Sweaty and hot she walked down to the kitchen of the institute for some food. Isabelle swore when she discovered that to her disappointment the fridge was empty. Currently being the only person in the institute she knew it was up to her if she wanted any food. Jace still hadn't returned from the gig last night, and going from what she discovered in the alley way, she was guessing he didn't want to be disturbed with a phone call. Alec and Maryse had been hastily called for some Clave duties so they were missing too. Groggily she trudged up the stairs and showered in her room. Throwing on some random clothes Isabelle grabbed her bag and headed for the subway. Walking around the large busy city made Isabelle feel a pang of loneliness. It felt like everyone else knew exactly where they should be. They all had people they could call theirs. Jace was presumably off doing 'who knows what' with Clary. Alec and Maryse were being heard in front of the clave. And she was here walking the streets of New York alone. Without really realising what she was doing Isabelle had pulled out her sparkly phone and dialled Simon's number. "Hey" she heard Simon's warm voice.  
"Hey" Isabelle paused so she could step off the train. "Lunch and Taki's?" she questioned.  
"Um… Sure. I'll be there in about ten" Isabelle smiled when she heard genuine surprise in his voice. "Great see you then" and she hung up.

Isabelle sat alone at a booth, tapping her foot against the legs of the table. It had been twenty minutes and Simon had yet to show. "Hey" she heard Simon's voice behind her. "Sorry I was late, I had to make a call to my sister" Isabelle turned and smiled at him. Simon sat down opposite her in the booth. "So, any reason for lunch? Or you just missed me?" She snorted and ignored his comment. "How is you sister anyways?"  
"Alright I guess, I mean if you mean about taking in the fact that I don't breathe anymore. She certainly took it better than my Mom" Simon looked away and Isabelle felt a pang in her chest. She could only imagine what it felt like to be called a monster by your own mother. As they ordered and ate, Isabelle felt a warm, safe feeling wash over her. Being with Simon made her feel comforted. Maybe it was because he was so mellow, compared to everything else in her busy shadowhunter life. All she knew was it wasn't something she had experienced before, and that made her nervous, but also eager for more. Isabelle was snapped out of her reverie when a loud ring of a phone came from Simon's pocket. He looked at the caller ID and immediately flipped the phone open and held it at his ear. She knew straightaway it was Clary. Before anything could happen, Isabelle felt a surge of annoyance and disappointment come over her. It was like Simon was split between people in his life. He had already taken his time getting here because of his sister, and now he was going to have a chat on the phone with his best friend. Isabelle felt like she had no spot in his life. She wasn't his girlfriend, nor just a friend so where di she fit in his life? Isabelle was scared to think she wanted to be a big part of it. "Hey, what's up?" Simon asked casually into the phone. Isabelle averted her eyes, not wanting him to see her emotions freely. "What?" he said alarmed this time. "Oh Clary,"  
"What? What's going on?" Isabelle protested, curious and anxious. Simon glanced at her and mouthed 'One moment'. "Where is he then?" he paused. "No I haven't heard from anyone. Hold on I'll ask. Yep. I'll be over when I can. Hang in there Clary" and he hung up. Isabelle looked at him fiercely. "What's happened?" she insisted. "It's Jace, no one can find him" Isabelle tensed. She tried not to think of the other times in which this had occurred. "Why? Did something happen?"  
"It's Clary, she broke it off" Isabelle's eyes nearly shot out of her head. "Clary… broke up with Jace?" She couldn't believe it. Simon nodded grimly. "So there's no doubt he's run off to kill something and possibly get killed" Isabelle was already assembling her things. "Let's go find this bitch"

**Got to love Izzy **

**Please review xx**

**Should I put some Malec?**

**Thanks for reading **


	3. Swapped roles

**Chapter three- Swapped roles**

**This chapter was inspired by MilliniumLint so thanks so much cause it gave me a really good idea xx Enjoy **

Central park was buzzing in the morning sun. People were rushing off to work; their heads down, coffees up. Others were walking their dogs or going for a run. All these people were absolutely oblivious to Clary Fray, sitting with her back against a tree. Clary was staring up at the blue sky, trying to make shapes out of clouds. There was nothing to do but wait. Wait for the crushing feeling to lift, even slightly. So slowly, blocking out the sounds of the city, Clary fell asleep.

"Iz, maybe we should just leave him be" Simon said cautiously, but just in case he was standing about a step away from a very frantic Isabelle. "No. I don't even want to think of how many situations he could be in right now. This isn't just some life problem he's sulking about. _It's Clary_" Simon tilted his head, looking up onto the institute looming above their heads. After he and Isabelle had called every person in any way possible coming in contact with Jace, then searched any place he was likely to be, they had given up and retired to the institute. Well Isabelle had, since Simon couldn't go inside. So now as they sat on the steps outside, Simon took one of Izzy's hands in his. "I think that you're just going to have to trust that Jace can take care of himself" Simon said. Isabelle sighed. "Why do you think Clary broke up with him? I mean I just figured that from what I walked in on before, they were ok" Simon thought about it. True, it's wasn't at all like Clary to do something so… bold. But Simon had been there when she was being ignored by Jace. He had felt her pain when she had walked away without him. It made sense that Clary had a lot of bottled up feelings and being herself, they would all come out in a rage, that in this case had ended with a breakup. "I think Clary had just had enough of Jace pushing her away"

Jace was lounging around the kitchen when Isabelle walked in. She almost jumped in surprise when she saw him, staring up at her, a tub of ice cream nestled close to his chest. Isabelle put her hands over her mouth, to stifle her laughter at the sight of Jace sulking like a teenage girl. Isabelle had the urge to take a photo. When she finally trusted herself not to laugh, Isabelle put her hands on her hips. "We have been looking all over for you!" Jace lazily put his spoon back in the tub. "And what if I didn't want to be found?" Isabelle bit her lip. At closer inspection, Jace looked terrible. She and Simon had been right. Looking at the bloodstains and scratches on his clothes, Jace had already been out demon hunting. His skin was taught and pale, and there were bags under his eyes. "You couldn't even have to decency to clean yourself up. By the angel Jace" He shrugged.  
"Clary broke up with me; I don't _have_ to do anything. Now if you'll excuse me I would like some more ice-cream" and he pushed passed her to the freezer.

Clary woke up to the sun on her face. Momentarily she forgot about everything. All she could feel was the warmth on her body. Until Clary opened her eyes. Crouching, not too far away was an ugly reptilian like creature. It looked like a ravener that could stand up, its black eyes staring hungrily. Scrambling up from her tree, she immediately reached for her dagger, that after previous experiences, she always kept with her. The demon came lunging at her just in time for Clary to stab it hastily in the stomach. It made a guttural sound and scuttled backwards whilst the wound healed. This gave Clary the chance to jump and catch a low hanging branch from the tree above and lift herself into it like a gymnast would. As she climbed out of reach of the demon, she was thankful to find out that it couldn't climb trees too. Breathing heavily Clary reached into her jacket pocket for her steele. Finding the familiar item there, she pulled it out and scrawled an _anthme _rune onto the hilt. Taking deep breaths Clary prepared herself to fight. She picked a fairly low branch on the opposite side of the tree from where the demon was trying to climb and slowly lower herself until she was hanging. Then she let go. The ground came rushing to meet Clary's feet. As soon as she recovered from the impact, Clary raised her blade and stalked her way around the trunk. Clary almost laughed. The demon was still trying hopelessly to get into the tree. She balanced the weight of the blade and thrust it straight into the demon's back and it vanished into thin air.

Clary was proud when she looked down at her clothing, noting that none of the demon's blood had managed to ruin it. "Clary?" she jumped and the blade went clattering to the ground, taking away her proud moment. _Isabelle_? Sure enough when she turned around, the black haired girl was standing with her hands on her hips. "This… has been the strangest day of my life" she said and walked closer to Clary who had hastily picked up the blade. "Were you demon hunting?" Clary looked down at her blade, thinking of her nap. Isabelle must have taken the gesture the wrong way because she stared at the redhead in shock. "No way in hell" she shook her head slightly. Clary didn't get what was so strange. She was a shadowhunter after all. "Um what's so weird?"  
"Never mind just come back to the institute with me"

**Chapter 4 up when I can xx**


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